on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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