i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
