we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
