If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
