what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
