Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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