i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
