yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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