Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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