Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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