Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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