STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
