The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it because I queefed?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
