i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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