Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
