Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
