The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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