Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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