I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
