I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
