i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
