He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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