90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
