I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
