Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize