Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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  (703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0
  Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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  (845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb
  Replies (44) Good night (1103) Bad night (1580) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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  (916): she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth http://tfl.nu/a27z
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (1830) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.

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  (402): she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook. http://tfl.nu/e703
  Replies (9) Good night (1120) Bad night (5201) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it's circumsized.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think this conversation is over.

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  (904): it's circumsized. (954): I think this conversation is over. http://tfl.nu/jc3y
  Replies (44) Good night (1109) Bad night (4960)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

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  (804): I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection. http://tfl.nu/8k0m
  Replies (14) Good night (919) Bad night (4592) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

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  (201): The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint http://tfl.nu/xmhe
  Replies (15) Good night (4477) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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  (318): That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior. http://tfl.nu/48ho
  Replies (17) Good night (4984) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god was she eating orange peels again

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  (508): oh god was she eating orange peels again http://tfl.nu/g701
  Replies (8) Good night (1066) Bad night (2293) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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  (419): I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud. http://tfl.nu/pl89
  Replies (19) Good night (3800) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.

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  (402): Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today. http://tfl.nu/vn4s
  Replies (5) Good night (1932) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.

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  (306): He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call. http://tfl.nu/bo9m
  Replies (2) Good night (1742) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto

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  (215): i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto http://tfl.nu/4zou
  Replies (6) Good night (335) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude you're not even a fucking science major

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  (717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (206)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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  (419): I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest. (1-419): Dreams are coming true for both of us. http://tfl.nu/6zn2
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (139)

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