remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"