The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday