Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your cock deserves a montage
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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