dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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