Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
