who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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