Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
