Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
