Can i not drive my cunt home
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
