Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
