I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
