Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
