So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
