fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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