go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
