he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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