I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can I color on your dick again?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
