Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
