I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
