all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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