She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
