I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't deserve a penis
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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