I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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