i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
