I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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