Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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