If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
be right there i have to get my cape
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
