Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
