You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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