At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
