is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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