I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
