Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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