I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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