my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
