listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
