she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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