who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
