he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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