Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
