Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
