I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
